The Secret to Deal with People is by Doing this

Photo by Dimitry B

Sigmund Freud states that every motive that a human does can be classified by these two drives: sex urge and desire to be great.

I believe in the two classifications, and let me tell you, the statement above contains the secret to dealing with people.

I don’t need to tell you the first one. However, the desire to be great is one of the passions that people often disregard.

Let’s take a look at some examples of why this is underrated. If you ask candidates who are currently looking for a job in a company, you will hear some reasons like - “I don’t feel satisfied with my current work,” or “I don’t like my boss,” or “salary is not high enough.” These are all valid reasons to switch to another job. If you keep asking why they are dissatisfied with the current work, you will realize that they didn’t get appreciated with the work they put in. It also leads to burnout.

Steve Jobs is known for visionaries. They can arouse others to see and imagine what the future can be. It is excellent for investors, as Apple stock is going up and up. How can they create followers who are willing to work day and night to help them achieve their vision?

One of the critical aspects that make someone work harder for you is to make that person feels special. That’s it. They know what their employee wants and develop what is best in the employee by encouraging and praising. Steve Jobs noticed the hard work of each one of the employe and also rewarded them.

The desire to feel important led an uneducated grocery clerk to study some law books that he found in the bottom of a barrel of household plunder. You probably heard of his name. He is Abraham Lincoln.

On the other hand, some people seek attention and crave that sense of importance that they are willing to do anything to achieve that. Some boys and girls join gangs and conduct criminal activities because they get a sense of significance from that environment.

How to give someone the sense of importance

Let me tell you what an average person will do. If they don’t like a thing, they will criticize the person over and over. If they do like the actions of their subordinates, they remain silent. They don’t know what triggers the excitement within their associates. As a result, talent leaves the company to go to the others to find a sense of importance in work.

One easy step is to understand what makes them feel special. When you listen to what makes a person feel a sense of importance, their body language began to change. Their eyes began to light up when they talk more about their desires. Their mood lifted, and their spirit brightened. The next thing you observe is that their heart is beating very hard of excitement—the excitement of imagining what they want to do to feel purposeful in their life.

During the beginning of the manager and subordinates’ one on one, the associates will ask the manager what they want to achieve in the team for the next quarter. You are ultimately asking the questions, “What are the priorities that make you feel special in the next quarter?”

If you want to develop the best in people, managers start considering what makes important in your employee’s life.

Is developing a new skillset their main priority? Discuss what skillset they want and what makes them enthusiastic for striving for that skillset.

Do they want to take on more significant projects?

Do they want more pay? Discuss with them what it takes to get that bump.

When you know what makes the other feels the sense of importance, you can praise their accomplishments and notice their efforts. You will be surprised at how excited they are to go to work. They will even work harder to do work according to your ways.

Hence, the process is both ways. As an employee, we want to consider what is the right choice for the company. As an employer, we want to give the personal incentive to work and use their best self to work each day.


If you tell me how you get to want to feel special, I’ll let you know who you are. I can see the desire and vision you want to do in your life because that is the most significant thing about you.

To effectively handle people is to understand their sense of importance and praise and notice their significance.

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